The Myth of Automatic Divorces and Common Law Marriage: What You Need to Know

Hey, Friend.

Let's talk about a couple of the most common misconceptions that could leave you in a legal mess if you're not careful: automatic divorces and common law marriage. If you've ever heard someone say, "We've been apart for years, so we're automatically divorced," or "We've lived together long enough, so we're married in the eyes of the law," you might want to sit down for this one.

Key Takeaways:

• Common law marriage is not recognized in every state, and simply living together does not always make you legally married.
• You cannot be automatically divorced, no matter how long you've been separated—divorce requires legal action.
• If you believe you are in a common law marriage, you may still need to take legal steps to dissolve it properly.

Myth #1: "We're Automatically Divorced After X Years Apart"

This is a huge misconception that has led to many people unintentionally remaining legally married. Divorce is never automatic, no matter how long you've been separated. Even if you haven’t spoken to your spouse in years, you must file legal paperwork to end the marriage. Until a judge signs that final decree, you're still married—which can create serious legal and financial complications if you try to remarry or need to divide assets.

What Happens If You Don’t Finalize Your Divorce?

• Your spouse may still have legal claims to your assets and property.
• You cannot legally remarry until a court finalizes your divorce.
• You could be held responsible for debts your spouse accumulates during the separation.

Myth #2: "We've Lived Together for Years—That Means We're Married"

The idea that living together for a certain number of years automatically makes you common law marriage is only true in select states—and even then, it requires more than just cohabitation. Common law marriage typically requires:

• Mutual agreement that you both consider yourselves married.
• Presenting yourselves as a married couple (introducing each other as spouses, filing joint taxes, etc.).
• Living together for an extended period in a state that recognizes common-law marriage.

States That Recognize Common Law Marriage

Not all states recognize common law marriage, and some that did in the past no longer do. If you're in a state where it is recognized, you may need to prove the existence of the marriage if disputes arise, especially regarding inheritance, benefits, or property division.

Can You Get a "Common Law Divorce"?

Nope! If you're in a legally recognized common law marriage, you must go through the same divorce process as a traditionally married couple. That means filing for divorce, dividing assets, and settling any legal matters just like a formal marriage.

Guide to Resolution: Protecting Yourself from Common Law & Divorce Myths

Unlike married spouses, unmarried partners do not have automatic rights in critical situations. Consider these key issues:

Step 1: Know Your State Laws
• Check whether your state recognizes common law marriage.
• If you're separated but not legally divorced, start the legal process to finalize it.

Step 2: Get It in Writing
• If you don’t intend to be legally married, consider a cohabitation agreement that clarifies financial responsibilities and property rights.
• If you’re ending a relationship, make sure your divorce is officially filed and finalized.

Step 3: Update Your Estate Plan
• If you mistakenly assume you’re divorced and pass away, your former spouse could still inherit your assets.
• Common law spouses may need additional documentation to prove their legal standing in estate planning.

Final Thoughts: Protect Yourself and Your Legacy

The myths of automatic divorces and common law marriage can create legal headaches if left unaddressed. Whether you're moving in with a partner, separating from a spouse, or just planning for the future, taking proactive legal steps will protect you and your financial well-being.

Love is beautiful, my friend, and with the right estate planning, you can ensure that your love story continues to shine brightly, both for you and generations to come.

Take great care of each other!